Observations from Latitude 45

Rambling from an odd mind.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Bomb Canada..

Here we are again in this thing called life. The sun is rising America and I'm one of the first to know. I'm one of the first in the country to know that some sort of interstellar Armegeddon didn't occur last night while America slept off the remains of yesterday.

How am I one of the first to know? What could possibly be that gives me access to this partcularly useful information? Do I have a direct tie in with mother nature? Am I a visionarry of some sort? Absolutely not..

Our small rural abode is about as far east as one can go in this country of our. Ours is in Maine. Not just Maine, but in an area we like to refer to as Maine-ada. In fact, I am currently looking at Canada (just lifted my head to look up at it to keep my integrity intact).

Secretly, I wouldn't really be too concerned if we bombed the shit out of our little northern friend. Why you may ask? Is it becuase I dislike Canadians? No. Is it becuase their Mounties have those fucked up little pants like their carrying a load in each leg? No.

Quite simply becuase I have a front row seat. I'd like the initiave to start right here on Passamaquoddy Bay with the USS Ronald Reagan steaming up the bay with it's twin gizillion horse nuclear powered engines pushing that 200 billion pound turd at 30 knots while F-14's and whatever the latest billion dollar plane is that we need thousands of take of the deck burning another trillion dollars of jet fuel at a rate faster than Houston went through her men in her amazing, shall we say, Indie film. I want the sky to be filled with F-14's going Mach whatever while other, faster naval ships swarm around the bay as well. Destroyers. I want destroyers. I want to see the Missourri brought out of decommission (which I think would simply be referred to as recomissioned) and brought into the bay with it's guns firing off so that the boat lists everytime the massive howitzers (or whatever the hell you call them) are fired. I want to see smoke on the other side of the bay. I want to see little mushroom clouds. The noise. Can you imagine it. The ringing in my ears for days as acoustic shock waves make their way across tha bay and find their way into my eardrum tickling whatever bit of the inner ear there is that makes ears ring the next day (I've lived with this body for over 40 years, you'd thing I'd know the names of some of it's parts).

Yes, bomb Canada. I want to see my tax dollar at work over here. I want the show in my front yard. Nothing nuclear of course. Unless it is small and the wind is blowing in the right direction.

We are a mighty nation with the most powerful armed forces ever built able to do watever we want in the world when we want. We need an ared forced this big. We need the 495 ships, 2,750 helicopters, 3,750 planes, 25,950 missiles, 2,475 tanks and the everything else that makes up the US Armed forces. We need these. It is important that we can blow anything up at any point in time when we want to. Let's blow the shit out of Canada.

Since Google is about the most amazing bit of technology I've ever seen in it's ability to read my mind I typed in US Defense budget. There we're only 15,100,000 hits (seriously, try it). First off think about the words, Defense Budget. I don't know why but 'Offense Budget' seems a helluva lot more accurate. You fill in whatever word seem to make you happy here. I'll go with 'offense budget' since mine is the simple variety.

Just about 1/2 of every tax dollar kicked into the kitty by Americans goes towards fueling this massive and hungry military machine. That would be just about 500 billion dollars. Interestingly enough almost 1/2 of the 500 million ($250,000 million for the liberal arts majors) is paid out as benefits to veterans. Another significant percentage is a fucntion of paying off debt associated with funding the war machine. And there are hundred of other categories as well. The other that jumped out at me was a $35 billion dollar a year hit that goes towards fnding brain surgeries for the affected...

Now this might seem odd to you but the fact that any budget needs to include a line item for 'brain surgeries' for the participants in the organiztion is surely an indication that the people creating the budget and leading the organization are much more in need of the medical procedure than the poor 18 year old inner city kid that actually believes in what he is doing since the propoganda neophytes that came to his high school and waved GI bill pamplets in front of his underpriveledged face giving him a sense of hope for the future while they've acutally built in a fudge factor to carve on some of his injured lobes before he receives his first GI bill check..... Well you get the point.. Somewhere I took a wrong turn grammatically as that must be a run-on sentence but all the words needed to be in there. Sister Myna, please forgive me. I'll throw in a hail-mary at some point.

They really should let the GI Bill pamplet be a bit more indicative of the truth. "Serve your country AND get a college education" should be replaced with "Roll the dice, keep your lobes intact and then, if you can overcome whatever psychological syndrome associated with seeing people blown up into bite size pieces we'll then send you enough money to attend four years of your state college which you could have paid for with a government loan in the first place and don't really need to pay off anyways."

Almost 3,000 killed in Irag. Not sure if I'd rather be in that statistic or part of the 35 billion dollar a year brain surgery statistic.

Maybe I was wrong about blowing up Canada.

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