Could there be a more ludicrous topic?

This is probably not going to be what you think. Even though there have been more insanely ridiculous events occurring over the past few days with the hanging of Hussein and the bombing of an airport and a list longer than the one I'd send to Santa when I was nine years old thanks to the Sears catalog I feel like writing about something that shames these events of most recent history. Not because they are not worthy of a good rant but becuase they pale in comparison to idiocy of today's topic.

You curiosity piqued?? I asked myself this morning what the most ridiculous thing going on in the world is and a few interesting things popped into my mind.

The first of which took on the form a philisophical endeavour. What is the 'world' that I ask about? How many ways can this be defned? I reckon one for every person that lives on this 'planet'.

An eight year old boy might see the world as his family and friends. A aboriginee man may see it as the Outback country within his native Australia. A politician may see it as the subset of things that can give him power. An astrophysicist may see it as all things that can be seen within a telescope. A quantam physicist may see it as all things that can be built using quarks and whatever else these folks use as the building blocks of our physical world.

I suppose there is an "american comman man" definition of the world which would consist of the things that are on the planet with the term "universe" capturing the bigger stuff..

Bottom line is that 'the world' is really what we define it to be in that space of our mind that creates things. Since I'm not the patient type to research neuroscience to learn the exact location of these thoughts we'll keep the definiton to brain as a whole.

So in my mind, the world is defined uniquelly to each man.

Then philisophically, the mind is also the place where most all things takes on some sort of definition.

And in this place where definitions occur I find things defined that make any physical act seem somewhat normal. In our daily lives we can find amazemnt in the irony of certain events. We can find humor or sadness in the way people deal with each other whether it be family or enemies or friends.

Where am I going with this? I'm not entirely sure here. Seriously. Usually there is some framework to how something gets written but this is a topic that is just sort of free flowing from my brain to m fingers.

Thinking back to what got me writing today was the stupidity of something in my life that is 100% make believe. Something that I thought about that almost had me laughing if it weren't so sad.

These are my fears and the profound impact they have on my life in how I deal with people and how I relate to the physical world.

They are nothing more that 100% make believe. However, they define how I live my life. I use the word fears since they are the things that seem to direct me as much anything that is not real. There are other things that define my life and how I live as well.. Love. Pity.

But if I look at all the things that seem to guide my thoughts fear seems to be the one that steers the ship most profoundly. I do believe (and have experienced) that living consciosly is the most beautiful place to be and the place where all things good are. You can call this being present or whatever you'd like.

I like to think that this place is available to everyone. Much more difficult for some to access versus others however if you are ever curious about what it is be aware of that moment of time between waking up from a good night sleep and having your first thought of the day. This would be a place of awareness. The mind will clutter it up the first chance it gets.

I write this and it becomes more clear to me than ever that the mind and living consciouslly are in direct competition with each other.

And there lies the question. Can one achieve a state of awareness by mentally doing something? Or more simply put, can you turn off your mind by thinking about turning it off. I suppose meditation is an example of this.

So I get back to the most ludicrous topic of the day.. Fear. The set of rules within my mind that dictate how I percieve and react.

Without my fears how would I be?

I would be infinitely more truthful in how I relate to others and myself since I would not have the fear of not being good enough. I'm not talking about lies here. There is a more subtle aspect to truth than saying things that are not true. We'll develop this more later.

What else?

I would eat less no doubt. I reach for the nuts, popcorn or can of Chunky's Sirloin Burger soup for no reason when I get some sort of internal anxiety from fear from within my mind.

I would relate to others in an easier way since the fear of being good enough would be gone. This fear is shows itself as a lack of confidence.

It's funny but it really seems to be fears that dictate how I live more than anything else. These make believe items dictate how I live in he real world. That is the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard. That like letting my invisible friend Billy drive a bus full of school children. Isn't this mad.

What kind of a sick idea is it that something so abstract and unreal can play such a profound role on my achieving things that are real. And I'll define the things that are real simply as being aware since anything else would most likely be defined by my fears as well (ie. monetary wealth, power, etc.)

I write this and think if anyone were to read this they would think I was off (another fear) but then it hit me that eveyone has fears. Whether they are the same as mine or different everyone has fears that dictate how they live and keep them from achieving a certain degree of awareness. There can be no self-righteousness on this one (Buddah, Jesus, Mohommed excepted)

How would I be if I had no fear? What are all my fears? What would I look like if I had no fears?

And then the next level of questions? Where did all my fears come from and more importantly is there a way to be rid of them?

Again, if I think about how to get rid of these fears I am probably using the wrong tool. You can't get rid of something with the thing that contains them. Or perhaps you can? Is that like saying put out that fire with fire or stop that flood with water? I'm not sure. I suppose these are questions of philosophy and each man will again have his own answer.

I'm sure there are techniques that work to find this place of peace and put the mind to rest. You read of people that will meditate for days at a time and stories of monks that seek enlightenment for 20 years only to achieve it by answering a question that has no 'accepted' answer.

How does one leave the mind? By not having fear be a part of the equation? How does one accomplish this? Can fear be removed or is it through total acceptance that fear is made powerless?

Another paradox perhaps? Give into something completely and acknowledge it wholly to have it disappear? What a strange concept. Most things real are paradoxical.

I hoped to rant on this earlier today but realized that ranting is purely mental and lacks anything beautiful. These are questions that require letting go of the mind.

The mind is an amazing thing. However it should be used as a tool in our lives and not define our lives.

More to follow on this...